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Ooo! My book on hypnosis arrived!

+3
Vampire Knight
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Post by justinlynch3 Fri Oct 15, 2010 7:50 pm

I don't think stand up is in Nikku's near future...
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Post by Nikku Sat Oct 16, 2010 10:54 am

justinlynch3 wrote:I don't think stand up is in Nikku's near future...

*Tries to resist the urge to actually stand up, to counter this, but cannot*

*Stands up*

HA!! See?? It WAS in my near future!! Now you hafta do everything I say for the next 5 years! Very Happy
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Post by justinlynch3 Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:21 am

I can't do anything revolving around sitting. I have no ass remember.
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Post by Jessica Raine Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:29 am

A man comes to visit his Doctor for his test results.
Doc: Well Sir I have some bad news for you
Man: Okay, Well I am prepared for that, just tell me.
Doc: You have 10 to live.
Man: Ten? Ten what?!
Doc: nine, eight, seven...
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Post by justinlynch3 Sun Oct 17, 2010 9:19 am

Ha.
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Post by Nikku Sun Oct 17, 2010 12:58 pm

A man went into his doctor's with a steering wheel down his underpants. The doctor asks "What happened?" and the man replied "I don't know but its driving me nuts!"
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Post by justinlynch3 Sun Oct 17, 2010 1:03 pm

Heh, not bad. Smile
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Post by Jessica Raine Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:39 pm


How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
Look for the fresh prints

Why can't skeletons see scary movies?
They ain't got the guts

What's the name of a Mexican with no car?
Carlos (not a racial joke, carlos sounds like CAR-LESS)

So a dyslexic guy walks into a bra

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Post by Nikku Mon Oct 18, 2010 4:27 pm

Hee hee, Jessie! ^____^

A naked man was walking down the road with a woman on his back, when he was stopped by the police.

Police - Where are you going?
Man - Fancy dress party.
Police - What as?
Man - Tortoise.
Pollice - Who's she? *Points at woman*
Man - That's Michelle!

====

How do you get 500 Pikachu's on a bus?
Poke 'em on!

====

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”

Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”

The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”

The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”

The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”

====

"What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked.
"Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice.
"No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said. "Why do you want to get in before nine A.M.?"
"Who said I wanted to get in?" the man sighed sadly. "I want to get out."
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Post by Jessica Raine Mon Oct 18, 2010 5:10 pm

poor trapped-in-library man

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Post by justinlynch3 Mon Oct 18, 2010 6:27 pm

lol true.
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