POETRY TIME!!!

actually its not
but i wrote a short one last night n its very me, i cant explain it really, but whatever, i usually dont write short poems either, but it was so close to what i wanted to say and how i felt...

anyway i thought anybody n everybody should get their chance to love or hate, i called it (not good a titling things) Thoughts In My Loss

I was thinking one day, I don't remember what
These thoughts were lost in the hustle of my strut
Each time it feels greater than the loss of a friend
or of family, or someone found and lost again
My mind begs the question, my hand does not reply
Why not record them? The answer: it doesn't matter why
sometimes I won't, most often I just can't
I can't
I can't
end my life in this world so that my mind can live
A soft voice repeats "...then where do I exist?"

I don't know if I understood the title correctly...you mean something like- thoughts that are not in your favor?
What does "lost in the hustle of my strut" mean?
As I remember- to strut means something like- to walk in the proud manner.
So you meant to say something like- you lost your thoughts while you were trying to walk in the proud manner? Sry, maybe my questions sound silly, but I still have problems with English when it comes to the literature.
Does the "often times I won't, most often I just can't" relates to the previous verse or is it the base on which the last 4 are founded on?

Sometimes poetry isnt supposed to make sense.

^r u saying i dont make sense? *OFFENSE*

"lost in the hustle of my strut"
hustle can mean a few things, here i mean that im in a hurry, i forget all conclusions epiphanies and creative thought when i have things to do. let me explain a little more, i say "the hustle of my strut", strut does mean to walk, proudly or otherwise, it really doesnt matter, that statement is slightly metaphorical, all im saying is that when i have things to do i cant take the time to record my thoughts, try to keep them in my memory or expand on and clarify them

i meant to write "sometimes", i'll fix that

so "sometimes i wont, most often i just cant"
thats more linked to the previous statement than the last couple of lines, the last few lines can stand on their own. so "why not record them?... sometimes i wont..."

make sense?

[edit]oh yea the title! lost in my thought to thoughts in my loss, im sure u kno what lost in thought means, the title isnt literal, so it means a loss of thoughts[/edit]

i repeat i cant to emphasize what i said right before it and to begin to say what i say next
"i cant end my life..."

bleh

heres somethin else i just wrote, i consider it more of a poem than a verse, but its still a verse

its titled simply "alone"

i be feelin like, im alone all day
sittin at home with the phone always
more ways, than an intersection
with primary colors flashin four directions
to get perfection of this life
insurrection on this mic, a great connection
like babygirl that left me, left me in the wind
lookin all surprised, we would never speak again
i'd like a week to spend, vacation
for me jealousy will never end, im hatin
sorry god, subconscious aint sumthin we control
even my desires get put up on parole
aint dealin with these liars i retire, imma roll
fake peelin rims n tires gettin higher gotta go
get em outta here, it aint nuthin that we needin
i could get em if i wanted it aint nuthin to a g and
im alone alone alone

Venus wrote:Sometimes poetry isn't supposed to make sense.

Yes, but it was obvious that secor's poem was not a beautiful gibberish, written by those wannabe poets\writers.

"so "sometimes i wont, most often i just cant"
thats more linked to the previous statement than the last couple of lines, the last few lines can stand on their own. so "why not record them?... sometimes i wont..."

make sense?"

It could be both, so I had to ask. Now it's clear to me, tnx.

"oh yea the title! lost in my thought to thoughts in my loss, im sure u kno what lost in thought means, the title isnt literal, so it means a loss of thoughts."

If the title was - Loss of thoughts, then I would understand it, so yeah now it's clear. It's just that I never saw such construction of words like - "Thoughts In My Loss".

"i repeat i cant to emphasize what i said right before it and to begin to say what i say next
"i cant end my life...""
Yeah, that part was clear to me.

I like it even if it doesnt make sense it has a message. even though only mabey some people can get it.

I understood the poem i was just talkin about poetry in general, gees. Dont bite me.

i think poetry in general makes sense, maybe not how u think of stuff making sense... i may not make sense in the way that ningen means, wannabe poets n fakes n whatnot getting all abstract n losing meaning along the way, ugh, n the hundreds of thousands of teenagers writing poems about love when they dont kno shit, ugh..

Ooh yeah, i hate that mushy crap. Thats the stuff that doesnt make sense.

yeah i get it i meant for him lol.

Venus wrote:Ooh yeah, i hate that mushy crap.

i have no problem with mushy crap, its crap in general that makes me wanna slit my throat with a plastic spoon handle

good mushiness:



i also have a problem with slam poetry in general, but thats a love/hate relationship right thur

but back to my poetry... did everyone miss that verse i posted? i'll posted it again in a different color

i be feelin like, im alone all day
sittin at home with the phone always
more ways, than an intersection
with primary colors flashin four directions
to get perfection of this life
insurrection on this mic, a great connection
like babygirl that left me, left me in the wind
lookin all surprised, we would never speak again
i'd like a week to spend, vacation
for me jealousy will never end, im hatin
sorry god, subconscious aint sumthin we control
even my desires get put up on parole
aint dealin with these liars i retire, imma roll
fake peelin rims n tires gettin higher gotta go
get em outta here, it aint nuthin that we needin
i could get em if i wanted it aint nuthin to a g and
im alone alone alone

haha with a plastic spoon?

Plastic spoon handle... intriguing. Newayz...HA HA! UR BABY GIRL LEFT YOU! HAAAAAAA! (I'm kidding kidding. Don't kill me. ) Nice emotion ther.

O_O....

I was kiddin.