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Dragonball Evolution Review from a non-DB fan

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Post by Son Goku Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:39 pm

My guess is he just reviewed it off the material that's currently out but here it is anyway. Oh, and by the way. When this movie comes out, be sure to bring its rating down on Rotten Tomatoes (the movie review website). People go there a lot to see if a movie is good. Let them know what the fans think.

http://voize.my/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=2552

Dragonball Evolution is what you get when you try to forcefully crossbreed Mortal Kombat, Power Rangers, The Karate Kid, and The Lord of the Rings. Predictably, the resulting offspring of this supremely unholy union would either have to avoid mirrors for the rest of their lives or gouge out their own eyes. Fireballs coalesce through hand movements and then fly across the screen, check! The central villain is a campy green and his Asian American henchwoman is always dressed in a sort of catsuit, check! Asian American old man tutors his young, neophyte white grandson about believing in himself and fanciful notions of "ki", check! And the main protagonist experiences relevationary visions whenever he fondles the main plot device and must prevent it from falling into the hands of an apocalypse-bringing villain, check! The point is we've seen all this before and we (at least those among us with thinking heads) weren't particularly impressed the first time (the exception being that bit from The Lord of the Rings, of course).

What's baffling is that Dragonball Evolution insists on regurgitating all of that on us along with with criminally amateurish acting. Performances swing from wooden to campy and back, perhaps indicative that the actors too are clueless about the plot material. Based on the exceedingly popular manga series of the same name, the film is set in... well honestly, I don't have a freaking clue. It was never explained. Goku's high school is typically American in the present day; indeed most of the film's characters have American accents. But then he (Goku) and his group of adventurers travel by motorcycle to nearby locations (the film appears to cover the timespan of a few days) with decidedly Oriental names.

Ultimately, the plot is wildly implausible, confused and vague. Having not read the original manga series, I can only hope (for the sake of its readers) that the film is an abberant deviation. If you want to catch a quality comic book film, I'd suggest you pick Watchmen (read our review here). If you've already watched it, 10 bucks spent on Dragonball Evolution is still far better spent watching Watchmen again (no pun intended). Then again, it might be worth it (if you want a good laugh) to see Chow Yun-Fat (who plays Goku's teacher, Master Roshi) say, "Believe it, you punk! You are getting your clock cleaned!"

Rating: 1/5 stars
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Post by Jessica Raine Fri Mar 06, 2009 7:59 pm

YAAAAAAAAAAAAY ^_^ yay for others seeing how bad it suuucks~
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Post by lol1991 Fri Mar 06, 2009 8:58 pm

so much burn.
The guy is right, it's an abberant deviation
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Post by Tlaloc Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:00 pm

This critic is a bright man! See FOX? True open and brilliant mind people know this thing known as DBE is a mess! The movie tried to be many things but Dragon Ball!

lol I would love to see Corey Wilson's reaction to this!

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Post by lol1991 Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:03 pm

Alson you can comment on the review. Go give these people a nice comment of aproval, for they known their stuff
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Post by Hawttdawgg Fri Mar 06, 2009 9:27 pm

Whoa nice :3
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Post by Tlaloc Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:49 pm

That's weird, I left a comment but there is none.

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Post by Son Goku Sat Mar 07, 2009 12:43 am

Me too. Something might be wrong with the system.
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Post by Hawttdawgg Sat Mar 07, 2009 1:07 am

marked as spam i guess
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Post by Nikku Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:14 am

YES!! That put my mind at ease a little. I didn't approve of the ever so slight praise he gave it in the last bit of the review, but still it was nice to see a bad review. The first review I read was a bad one and that makes me feel a whole lot better!

And that 1/5 made it all the better too!
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Post by lol1991 Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:26 am

Yeah well he's lucky he is not a DB fan. Then he would be even more outraged, to the point of his head Asploding
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Post by Nikku Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:33 am

*Head asplodes*
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Post by Hawttdawgg Sat Mar 07, 2009 8:37 am

Just jerk off!

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Post by Jessica Raine Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:07 am

Lol at the end, "I just commited murder"
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Post by lol1991 Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:30 am

That guy is fucking retarded.
Is "You're ..." videos are so stupid
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Post by Hawttdawgg Sat Mar 07, 2009 7:49 pm

Lol no!!
Its a comedy.. calm down
Rofl
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Post by Tlaloc Sat Mar 07, 2009 9:04 pm

Now there is something in the comments section, but no clear thing.

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Post by lol1991 Sun Mar 08, 2009 8:35 am

Hawttdawgg wrote:Lol no!!
Its a comedy.. calm down
Rofl

He just acts dumb in front of the camera. I don't find that funny. And also, what he does is a long way away from comedy.
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Post by Hawttdawgg Sun Mar 08, 2009 9:04 am

I just... like those kinds of humor .. :/
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Post by lagoon Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:51 pm

1/5 is kinda unbelieveable, well to me it is. To most it will be woohoo but to me i would expect at least a 2 and maximum of a 3.5 and thats me being completely honest. this movie isnt going to be the best out there and I certainly know it wont be the worst (I always have a gut doubt about things like this). This movie is shocking but not shocking enough to get a 1/5

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Post by Jessica Raine Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:53 pm

O_O no really, I think 1 is perfect for it...
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Post by Tlaloc Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:54 pm

Wait, lagoon; are you the guy who give that critic?

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Post by lol1991 Sun Mar 08, 2009 3:57 pm

are you name lagoon after "Black Lagoon", the anime??

And i also agree with you. 1/5 is not really what i would expect from this movie...i expect a 0/5
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Post by Jessica Raine Sun Mar 08, 2009 4:00 pm

haha nice one lol X D
I'd go for a negative score
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Post by VEGETA_DTX Sun Mar 08, 2009 6:57 pm

The guy perfectly said it all. A true example of a reasonable non-DB fan.

It does not take a whole lot of brain to see that this is ridiculously "adapted" exploitation and nothing else....

I posted the comment there today, but their comment board seems to be busted...
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