Nikku reviews Dragonball Evolution...!

It's a long review that this film deserves. I will never recover after seeing this piece of shit. Read all of the review okay?

(By the way, the spelling errors will be fixed in a later update. I spent all day yesterday writing this...)

Dragonball Evolution. The perfect film.... to torture somebody with.


Okay, before we get this review started I’d just like to tell you that if you are a Dragonball fan, PLEASE DO NOT SEE THIS FILM. To gaze upon it is to go insane. My observers took my straight jacket off me so I could write this review and possibly save other people from having a one way trip to the nut house.

For ages now we have heard of the things they have done for this “film”. But you see, it’s not a film, it’s a hideous train wreck. It’s a monstrosity. It’s the devil himself in film form. In fact, this “film” is so bad, that I actually found myself yawning even before 20 minutes had passed. I know that some films take a while to get going, but this is just ridiculous. Dragonball Evolution is a weird mish mash that doesn’t know what it’s doing. Its cliché ridden, it’s boring, it’s dull and it is nothing like Dragonball. If the characters didn’t refer to each other by the character’s names, I’d seriously have no idea that this was supposed to be a Dragonball film.

You have been warned.

The piece of filth begins with a narration. Lord Piccolo and his disciple, Oozaru, tried to conquer the world 2000 years ago.

.................
.........
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Oh my god... less than 10 seconds in and they've already butchered the story beyond believe...!?

...but they disappeared and stuff like that, yadda yadda yadda. We are then shown an angsty looking guy training with his grandpa. These are supposed to be Goku and Gohan respectively. They look nothing like the characters they are supposed to be portraying and trust me when I say that nobody in this film looks even remotely like the character they’re meant to be playing. Gohan swallows a bug and there’s some bad wire work and... and... and this isn’t gonna get better is it? So it’s Goku’s birthday and Gohan gives him a Dragonball. “What? A glowing ball!? No Playstation 3? No flat screen TV? No new clothes? You bloody cheapskate old man, I’m leaving home forever!!” No, Chatwin doesn’t say this, but he definitely should’ve, I mean, there is nothing Goku-like about this character he’s portraying. So Goku rides off to school on his bicycle. No, you aren’t seeing things, Goku rides a bicycle and goes to freakin’ high school.

So the resident bullies arrive and crush his bike with their yellow car. They then call him “Geeko”. Geeko? Geeko!? What the Jesus Christ? If my school bullies had come up with a name as lame as that for me, I would’ve started bullying them until they came up with a better insulting nickname. The bully guy (I’m not gonna bother to find out his name, but I’m pretty sure that the guy who plays him was named after an event that took place in Texas... Texas Battle was it?) attempts to coax Geeko into hitting him. Chatwin blows up his cheeks and makes his lips go inwards, but doesn’t do anything else as the bullies walk off laughing. Then Geeko puts up his little hoodie for some reason and looks like a complete chav. How far into this movie are we now? How much more of this angsty teen drama am I gonna have to endure? We’re only about 4 minutes in, oh my god... Oh, Geeko blows up his cheeks and makes his lips go inwards again. It’s very funny, but this isn’t one of the film’s funny moments. Chatwin, we told you to have a dump BEFORE you started filming!

We are then flung right into Copyright infringement territory when Slave One (Boba Fett’s ship) appears. Queue James Marsters as Piccolo. Almost straight after seeing him, we are shown a village. A lady looks around. She has red spandex on with her breasts hanging out (obviously to draw in the hormone crazed teens) and nabs something (a Dragonball) from a lady in a village. They talk in a crazy alien language (well, Chinese or Japanese, and there are also no subtitles, the stingy bastards) before Spandex Slut Woman shoots the other woman off screen. Because Dragonball is not meant to be violent. It is a family franchise after all remember!?

Next we have one of the lamest parts of the film. Geeko is in class and they are learning about the eclipse (I know, just go with it). Suddenly, Geeko starts showing us what kind of drugs he’s on by having erotic sexual fantasies about Chi-Chi eating strawberries in a field (I know just go with that too). Geeko’s teacher suddenly snaps him out of it by asking him a question. It’s the clichéd ‘ask a daydreaming student a question which he can’t answer and gets embarrassed’ syndrome. Also, its obvious how out of place Goku being in high school is. When the teacher calls his name out, it’s just wrong you know? Anyways, after class Chi-Chi can’t get her locker open so Geeko uses his ki to open every single locker in the hallway and blow pieces of paper around. The girl chases after him and becomes immediately attracted to him for some reason. She invites him to her party. Oh she also says “Just because my name’s Chi-Chi, doesn’t mean I’m stupid”. Hardy Har Har...

So then we are shown another of the films “funny moments”. Geeko tries to gel his hair down, but it sticks right back up again with a disturbing sound effect. Nope, not laughing. This Goku shows just how faithful he is to the original Goku by sneaking out of his loving grandpa’s house to go to the party. We’re not even 20 effing minutes into this damn film yet... Oh and er, Goku takes the Dragonball with him to the party for some reason. So the bullies ambush Goku outside the party and he starts dodging their attacks and attacking like a smart ass. The bullies for some reason know martial arts as they perform flying kicks, but of course, Mr. Smart Ass dodges and the bullies own themselves. Well that was boring and the slow mo was overused completely, because Dragonball always overused slow mo ya know? Mr Smart Ass then speaks to Chi-Chi and then senses something is wrong. So he runs back home with the speed of a normal person.

In truth Grandpa has been attacked by the nameless lady wearing red tights with her breasts hanging out (again, obviously to draw in the hormone crazed teens) and Emperor Palpatine... oh wait, no it’s meant to be Piccolo, but he’s wearing a red hooded robe, what’s a Star Wars fan to think? Piccolo uses the force choke on Gohan and then uses the force to bring his house down. Seriously. I think I hear George Lucas ringing the sueing peoples!

At this moment, I was praying for the film to end. How far into it are we?

10 MINUTES!? WE’RE ONLY 10 MINUTES IN!?!?

So Goku makes it back home, and Gohan gives him a clichéd “dying breath” speech. He sounds surprisingly fine for a guy that’s just had a house collapse on top of him. When Randall Duk Kim, oh sorry “Gohan” died, I had tears in my eyes. However, these were caused by my massive yawn. I’ve NEVER yawned during a film before, but this one proved that there’s a first time for everything. Goku buries his deceased grand pappy in his back yard. Goku doesn’t even look remotely sad for Christ’s sake. So as you can see, Justin Chatwin is easily the worst actor in this entire flick. Until female lead number two walks into the ruined house. Enter Emmy Rossum as Lara croft. Why Lara is in this film is beyond me. Oh wait yes, it's because they’ve turned Bulma into a gun totting warrior chick. I’m not making this stuff up. After trying to kill Goku, she says “I could’ve killed you!!” worriedly.

...............okay.

The head of the Lara Croft Fan Club shows Goku her device which shows her the locations of the Dragonballs. Oh the Dragon Radar right? Nope! They’ve renamed it the Dragonball Energy locator. OH!! The DBE!! I GET IT!! That’s THIS film’s initials!!!! So fucking awesome!!!! Anyways, Goku suggests to Bulma that they team up whereas in the manga it was Bulma who suggested the team up. They head outside and she shows what a massive fan of Transformers she is by placing a black cube on the ground where it suddenly transforms into a quad bike. Goku utters a very in-character “Cool...” and they set off.

Within seconds, we are shown a dark, gritty and realistic city in which both have just arrived. Paozu City. I know just go with this too. They find Roshi’s house which is a building that stands out very well in the middle of Gotham City. And they had trouble finding this place? They waltz right in as Roshi forgets to lock his door. The two look around with Goku whispering “BOOLMAH!!!” as loudly as he can. He knocks a ball off of something and this in turn knocks several stones into the air. Goku catches them using movements inspired 100% by Neo from the Matrix, but fails to catch one. This wakes up Chow Yun Fat who’s apparently playing Master Roshi. No beard, no sunglasses, no turtle shell, no pet turtle and a head full of hair. Yup, that’s SO Roshi!

He assumes they are thieves (he left his front door unlocked by the way) and attacks. Fat takes the ‘Worst Actor in this Film’ award away from Rossum and keeps it for the duration. This guy’s a revered actor? Okaaay...! Goku starts fighting with Fat, yes he’ll NEVER think you’re a thief now, Goku! So through a series of lame lines “You’re getting your clocks cleaned!”, a fight scene that’s copied and pasted straight from the Matrix and more inaccuracies (Goku blasts Bulma but instead of destroying her, he just knocks her over), this movie kills another 7 of my brain cells. Roshi asks how “Gouhen” is and they finally figure out that fat is Roshi. This revered actor embarrasses himself and the viewing audience by trying to be funny, but is thankfully shut up when Chatwin gives his clichéd “I will avenge my dead family member” speech. Oh there’s also a poem about the Dragonballs too. Yeah, a poem. The three team up. Blah, blah, blah. I reach for the nearest object that can kill me, but it is sadly taken away.

Meanwhile with Piccolo and Failed Fanservice Woman, they find a Dragonball. Meanwhile, back with the group... wait, what the hell was the point in that Piccolo scene? Geez, his scenes are more pointless than the viral video Rossum and Chatwin released to promote this drivel. Anyways, back with the three stooges, I mean heroes, Roshi says that Goku must learn Airbending techniques. Gee, watch Avatar much Roshi? Anyways after travelling across the desert they arrive at a training facility where Chi-Chi just happens to be. I’m glad Chatwin was here to point her out for me, because I’d have no clue who she was! Chi-Chi says that people go there to train for a tournament and then says that she’s sorry for what happened to Gohan. Wait, how the f**k did she find out? They only one’s that know are Goku, Bulma and Roshi, how did Chi-Chi come across the information?? Oh I give up, let’s just get on with the rest of the film. Anyways, Chi-Chi also says that she’s “a fyhtar teyou!” (“a fighter too”) and convinces Goku to come to the tournament.

As if these people couldn’t possibly be any lamer, the next scene shows us Goku standing on his hands on the bike. But the way it’s shot, it’s SO obvious that he’s not doing it. You never see his feet or a full shot of him doing the handstand, you only see his head and arms upside down. The bike then falls into a hole. It’s time to be astonished by yet another horrific performance in the form of Joon Park as Yamcha, the guy with sunglasses, blonde hair, tight leather and a surfer dude accent. And no, he doesn’t have Puar as that would’ve made this movie unrealistic and Dragonball NEEDS to be realistic! Yamcha agrees to help them out of the hole if they pay him with whatever the hell Bulma was riding. They say no, so Yamcha cracks a lame joke and walks off.

At night time, Goku is trying to climb out of the hole, but falls down “humorously”. Why doesn’t he just fly out? He flew when he was fighting Roshi! So instead, they have a nice little campfire and a story. He tells them about Piccolo and Oh-Zaru, for that’s how they pronounce it. Years ago Piccolo was trapped inside the Mafuba, but now he has somehow escaped. They don’t tell you how by the way so don’t ask me. More crap about Oozaru being piccolo’s disciple and Shenlong with the “perfect wish” and then Roshi decides to fly out of the hole. Why didn’t he just do that in the first place? GOD THIS MOVIE MAKES NO SENSE. Roshi couldn't even fly in the manga/anime could he? He tells Yamcha that he can make more money than he ever has made before and so the surfer dude decides to help out. No fight against Goku like in the manga however, because this Yamcha can’t fight for shit. Yeah, because Yamcha was NEVER a fighter. He burrows deeper underground with them, tries to be funny yet again and fails miserably.

Continued!!

Back with Piccolo and Failed Fanservice Helper Lady, she speaks about Soo GooGoo getting trained and asks if she should disrupt them. No, you see I think you should learn proper English. No wonder you hardly have any lines in this film. Piccolo tells her not too and then injects himself with shitloads of cocaine. Or those needles take his blood and somehow makes generic monsters with it, whatever. It should be noted that Piccolo, the man who lost his arm twice and didn’t even grunt loudly in the manga/anime, now screams like a little bitch when the needles touch his skin. Then the scene ends. Seriously, Piccolo’s scenes are so short and pointless that you wonder why he was even in the movie at all.

Anyways, the dweeb patrol arrives at a volcano for some reason and are ambushed by Piccolo’s new monsters... the monsters are defeated within about a minute. Goku throws them into the lava and crosses them to reach the next Dragonball. Spandex Lady then tries to steal it, fails and f**ks off again in a less than 30 second scene. That was incredibly pointless. She could’ve at least swooped in, stolen the ball and then run off, but no. Sheesh... what next? I suppose Roshi’s gonna tell Goku the Dragonballs have been speaking to him...

*Roshi says that the Dragonballs have been speaking to Goku*

O_o

Let’s just move on shall we? So Goku says that OH-Zaru will kill Roshi, Bulma and Yamcha... Um, no Chatwin, you see Chow Yun Fat, Emmy Rossum and Joon Park did that already. Wait what? What are they...? Oh thank god for that. With the way this scene is shot, it looked like Goku and Roshi were gonna kiss. That’s all this piece of shit film needs! Anyways, Roshi goes to a temple on a mountain and pays a visit to Sifu Chuck Norris, but don’t expect the real Chuck Norris to jump out of those robes and roundhouse kick Yun Fat into oblivion for ruining Roshi, this guy is just some guy that’s called Sifu Norris. Next we are suddenly thrust into another scene, the tournament... that looks nothing like the Tenkaichi Budokai. Chi-Chi and Piccolo’s bitch are engaged in a slow poorly choreographed fight scene that lasts just under 20 seconds, the fight also has no beginning, it's already well underway when the scene begins. They are both wearing spandex now – Chi-Chi had red spandex and the other one has black spandex. And they don’t look sexy at all. God, this fan service is TERRIBLE. Where’s my bunnysuit Bulma?? Oh wait, no scratch that, Rossum wouldn’t look any prettier in a bunnygirl costume. She’s already ruined Bulma, I don’t want her ruining the epic bunnysuit! So Chi-Chi gets her arm cut by the... the other lady (Mai was it...?) and she just walks away. Chi-Chi shouts something that I couldn’t here properly cause of Jamie Chung's accent and is declared the winner.

Goku arrives and his love interest spots him, yelling “GAWKU” and runs up to him. They hug like they are in love. No. Then we jump to Bulma and Yamcha talking. Despite having known one another for just a few minutes, they try to make out, but are interrupted. What the f**k.

Gawd, when will this film end???

Back at the temple, Roshi and Goku are doing some fruity arm movements and then Roshi proceeds to show him his....... Kamehameha. Thought I was gonna say testicles didn’t ya? Who could blame you after these two very nearly made out at a live volcano. Despite being a TURTLE DESTRUCTION WAVE, the Kamehameha in this film can light lanterns! Brilliant!! It’s also performed by doing lots of weird arm movements, neither of which were present in Dragonball. It should also be noted that Fat pronounces it “Kobeyhobeyhah”. He tells Gawku to use his Kobeyhobeyhah to light up all the lanterns and then strokes his pupil's face, seriously. These two have a more romantic story than Bulma and Yamcha! Roshi goes off to sleep (and probably have wet dreams about Gawku) as his pupil tries to use his Avatar the Last Airbending Technique to light up all the candles. Goku then TRIES TO CHEAT and attempts to light the lanterns with a lit candle. When has Goku ever tried to cheat? When? Gimme one example, I dare you James Wong, I double dare you. Give me one example of where he tried to cheat. Exactly. HE DIDN’T. Seriously, this movie is just flat out trying to be bad isn’t it. This film makes Batman’s Bat Credit Card scene in ‘Batman and Robin’ look dark and serious.

Chi-Chi walks in and they play a game in which if Gawku can light up all the candles, he’ll get to make out with Chi-Chi. No Gawku, no, you’re just confused! Roshi is your lover, you cheating swine! As expected, Gawku completes this game and the two go at it like rabbits. Because Goku always wanted to go at it with Chi-Chi didn’t he? How long have these two known each other for in this film, anyways? Couldn’t be more than half an hour. I’m thinking of travelling to this movie world to get a girlfriend REAL easily.

After this, Bulma is awakened by Chi-Chi that’s obviously Mai (the Spandex Lady) in disguise. Mai steals the group’s balls and runs off. She shoots her gun at them and it creates a wall of fire(!?) before getting kicked by the real Chi-Chi... well no, the real Chi-Chi is wondering “what did I do to deserve this bastardisation of my character?”, it’s Jamie Chung’s Chi-Chi. “HOOTHAELLAROO!?!?” she yells and the two have a lame little fight scene. Behind the wall of fire, Bulma and Yamcha run off and it takes all of Gawku’s skills to jump through a little wall of fire, NOW WITH SLOW MO! He is easily tricked into fighting and knocking out the real Jamie Chung and then gets knocked out himself by a sodding gun. A gun. Goku was just knocked out by a f***ing GUN. Mai gets away. Oh and Gawku also goes “Oh shi...” when he finds out he’s KO’ed his new love. Great work putting that into a PG rated film Wong!

But wait! It turns out that Gawku is barely alive. Come on, when kid Goku got shot in the head in the manga/anime, he sat right back up and complained that it hurt him. This 18 year old Goku nearly dies?? Gimme a break! No wait, gimme a Kit Kat. So Gawku meets his deceased Grandpa in a dream sequence ala Peter Parker conversing with his deceased Uncle Ben in Spider-Man 2 when all of a sudden we hear a “Komy... homy... HUH!!”. Roshi uses his TURTLE DESTRUCTION WAVE to bring Gawku back to life!! BRILLIANT!!! Upon dragging the groggy Goku out of the room very roughly, Chuck Norris gives Roshi his cookie jar... oh wait, the Mafuba. And thus begins the race to stop this film’s villain from using the Dragonballs... to take his vengeance... upon the URTH!! Seriously, that’s how he says it! I also say “this film’s villain” because I’ve literally forgotten who it is. Piccolo right? He’s been in this film for like what 1 minute total? And he's done fuck all too.

Piccolo places his newly acquired Dragonballs onto a stone altar and this in turn causes several massive stone pillars to rise up from the ground. Wha? And just when you think this flick cannot possibly get any worse, IT DOES!! Yamcha’s jeep turns into a flagrant rip off of the DeLorean from Back to the Future. The wheels turn to the side as the car flies through the air.

*Claps slowly*

*Sigh* isn’t this movie done yet?!!? No, cause we’ve still got the final battle to get through... So the DeLorean arrives and gets shot down instantly by Piccolo. Roshi is thrown from the flying car, and lands on the ground. He looks really hurt. Instead of getting straight back up, he acts like he’s really hurt!? Back in the DeLorean, Goku gets his bad cosplay costume out which is supposed to be his trademark orange gi and puts it on. I just love the “dramatic” shot of Chatwin in the costume. It’s hilarious, trust me. Also, you KNOW a film is bad when unofficial cosplayers look 100% better than live action movie guys. Such is the case here.

So Goku walks up to Piccolo who reveals a “shocking” truth. That Goku is OH-Zaru!!!!!!11111oneone Goku falls to his knees and screams like a little whiney emo. The transformation sequence of Goku into OH-Zaru was so bad it was funny. They keep cutting away so that they can skip ahead with the metamorphosis. The CGI in this scene is terrible. However, at least we get to see that huge wer-monkey smashing shit up and... and... wait a minute here, what gives? This Oozaru is only 8 feet tall and is fully clothed!! BULL PLOP. So Oh-Zaru chases his friends around as Roshi uses his “MAAAAAAAAH FOOOOOOOOO BAAAAAAAH!!!!!” to trap Piccolo, but it fails and so Roshi starts dying. Hm, tragic.

Back with OH-Zaru and co, Yamcha tires to do a noble sacrifice scene and Bulma throws him a gun. Hey she’s got like 30 of them. He’s quickly knocked away and OH-Zaru ends up near Roshi. Despite getting strangled by the 8 foot man and despite slowly dying, Roshi can still speak clearly and then he dies.

Now it’s FINALLY time for Gawku and Palpatine to have their epic final battle! Well, there’s lots of red and blue on the screen, enough to give you a seizure. They’re apparently shooting ki blasts at each other. Meanwhile Lara Croft and Palpatine’s right hand man who is never named (it’s supposed to be Mai) shoot their guns for a few seconds... then, back with the main event, Gawku and Palpatine are lifted up into the air on wires and trade very slow blows with each other. Because you know, Dragonball didn’t have fast fights or anything. Back in the cave, Surfer Duuuuude (Yamcha with his bitchin' accent) shoots unnamed servant girl in the back with a gun and kills her. Back with the main event, Gawku stands up and gives a cliché ridden speech about how he must believe in himself and all that crap, he also looks up at the camera... I mean um, the sky and does a dorky looking yell that looks like he’s yawning. It’s time for his uber pathetic Kamehameha.

He yells the name out like a prick and then performs what looks like a JUMPING PUNCH towards his arch nemesis who he’s known in person for like 40 seconds and defeats him. Then the cliché eclipse is over and it becomes light again like it should’ve fudging been throughout the fight. Oh and er, Gawku is as clean as a whistle, no scratches, no blood, no torn clothing. Also, this entire final battle lasted literally less than a minute. Less than a fucking minute!!

OH NOEZ!! Chow Yun Fat is still dead. “I wish it didn’t have to end this way...!” utters Lara Croft. Me too, me and all the other fans that were actually able to sit through this drivel, seeing one of our favourite things get raped and befouled completely and utterly. Oh you meant Fat dying, oh okay. Its okay though, because, after an embarrassing little call, Chatwin calls out Shenlong who doesn’t speak, looks like a gigantic flying turd and then disappears after about literally 36 seconds. The thing that should have been one of the most spectacular sites of the film and he’s gone within 36 seconds! I was so seeing myself jumping into the screen and yelling out “I wish this piece of shit movie never existed!!!” to Shenlong. Then it would all be over. A boy can dream though... a boy can dream.

So Roshi wakes up, makes a retarded unfunny joke and then they try so well to hide the fact that they are going to try for a sequel. Oh and er, Gawku goes back to Chi-Chi and they viciously make out... again. Because Goku and Chi-Chi always made out in the show. Then he changes into a costume that again makes even the crappiest of cosplay look great by comparison. It even has bloody inverted colours (orange where blue should be and vice versa) and a long sash! Then they go to fight with Gawku going to punch Chi-Chi’s foot. THE END!! F***ING FINALLY!!!

That was the longest time of my life... I’m also absolutely traumatised. Thank god it’s over... Oh no... OH NO!!! A bit after the credits shows some lady taking care of Piccolo. Once again they’re trying to show that they want to ruin more of the DB mythos with a freakin' sequel. To this, I say “F***ING NO” I don’t want to see how badly they’ll ruin Raditz and Vegeta and Frieza, who will all probably be students in a rival high school.

And so there you have the steaming pile of manure that is Dragonball Evolution. An angsty emo cliché ridden boring dull unfaithful uninspired mess. James Wong and all those involved should be very VERY ashamed of themselves for bringing this into the world. Whats worse is they even say that a sequel titled Dragonball reborn has already been written. I shit you not. And Reborn seeing the light of day results in how much money Evolution makes. I implore you not to see this film. Watch it for free online, you’ll save yourself the money loss and the fright of Chatwin’s huge forehead on a massive cinema screen. Then let it be forgotten. I don’t want further childhood raping, cliché filled storylines and nothing that resembles the source material. I don’t want to relive the nightmare that was THIS film.

This is by far the WORST movie of the year, the decade and dare I say it... of all time. It needs to be locked in a rocket ship and sent to the sun. As a Dragonball fan, DBE is nothing but an insult. A downright slap in the face. This film shows that Wong and co actually TRIED to make it as bad as they possibly could.

Do not see Dragonball Evolution.

Now if you don’t mind, I’m just off to try and bore the images of this film out of my head with a ****ing power drill...

Overall rating – 0/10

Best bit - Um... er... the last second of the end credits?
Worst bit - The bit between the opening credits and the ending credits.

Cool

you're much braver than I

Poor Nikku, you had to endure such crap.

everyone here who sits through the whole film gets a badge of honor.

But I want a badge...

all you get is an indigo badge for beatin the gym leader

Kay!

Wow... i never saw so many letters
great work

But wen Goku said to his Grandpa: "teach me how to get the girl"... i just.. WTF???
Oh Goku, what happened to you???

Thankies guys! What was your fav part of teh review!?

*Pins Badge of Honor onto my Frank T-Shirt, right in front of Jessie*

*applauds Nikku* *hands him a blobfish*

Well done my friend. I know a good psychiatrist if you have some troubles sleeping after this.

Piccolo tells her not too and then injects himself with shitloads of cocaine.

I LMAOed at that part

ningen wrote:Well done my friend. I know a good psychiatrist if you have some troubles sleeping after this.

I haven't slept in 72 hours...!!! Quick! Gimme the number!!

lol1991 wrote:Piccolo tells her not too and then injects himself with shitloads of cocaine.

I LMAOed at that part

Yay! Glad you liked it!

I knew watching that film is hazardous for your health.

Hey guys! I fixed all the typos and added some new text throughout, including a Best Bit and Worst Bit section at the very end!

X D grammar&spelling is important, mister

That's great, Nikku the Great!!
You should be baptised by the church, knighted by the queen, and awarded a bravery award!!

sonaditya wrote:That's great, Nikku the Great!!
You should be baptised by the church, knighted by the queen, and awarded a bravery award!!

Why thank you very much!

Sir Nikku! Has a nice ring to it!

haha yes
and I like how sir nikku sounds : D

Sir Nikku The Brave!
Sir Nikku the Chivalrous!
Sir Nikku The Risker!!

And dont forget the noble prize for risk-taking, if they have one.

sir nikku the good-smelling
sir nikku the knight
sir nikku the shiny

What if.......
Sir Nikku rides on his horse, to save the damsel in distress at the topmost tower of the castle on th top of a cliff, braving the snow, defeating the lightening, slicing the butter-demon, applying it to his bread, and then munching it for brunch..........

He finally reaches the castle, opens the gateway, and shouts "I am coming, damsel!!" The marsters of the castle send ppl to chat with him but fail, they do all kinds of wong things, even call him a slimy chung, but he defeats them all: he finally reaches the topmost tower, breaks open the door, shouts," I am here!"

but imagine his state when he finds Lara Croft scratching her butt....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Falls to knees, raising arms into the air dramatically*

Also;

My name is now Sir Nikku the Shiny!