bakagurls fanfic

fuck it ill do one




Thousands of years ago...

"What the fuck?"

A prophecy was foretold...

"Oh, God, No!"

An Ancient Evil would threaten the world...

"No, Stop it! That's not funny!"

An Evil that would destroy the world...using the power of...

"Don't you fucking say it!"

...The Dragonball!

"FUCK YOU!"

Suddenly, A girl jumps up and rips the silver screen to shreds. She was then kicked out of the theater for interupting the movie "Hotel 4 Dogs" & destroying property.

"Whatever, Fucking movie was prolly gay anyway."

She then walked on home as a car drove by. The passenger window rolled down, Revealing the driver.

"Well, That was quick."

"Shut the fuck up, Belphegor."

Belphegor- "They showed that stupid trailer again?"

"No shit. Now I feel like stabbing some-one."

Belphegor- "Well, Get in and I'll take you to our favorite spot."

The girl then sighed and then said, "Whatever". She opened the car door and got in, The car then sped off.

Minutes later, The car arrives at it's destination, Widow Maker Heights. A cliff on the outskirts of town, overlooking the town in all it's glory.

"Shit's fucking dumb."

Belphegor- "Would you feel better if I drove the car off the cliff?"

"It might be a start."

Belphegor- "Well, Atleast it's something."

Belphegor then hit the gas and drove the car off the cliff. The car fell for a good minute and a half before hitting the ground with a loud and gigantic explosion. The explosion soon turned into a burning pile of metal.

Seconds later, Two flaming figures walk out of the burning heap. The flames on the figures quickly died off however and showed that the girl and Belphegor were not injured in anyway.

Belphegor- "Feeling better?"

"Nope, I'm just going to have to kill some-one."

Belphegor- "Okay."

The two walked off to leave the burning mess behind, coming across a restaraunt.

"I'm fucking hungry. Let's stop here."

Belphegor- "Sounds good."

They walk in to see a crowd gathering around a table, Random girls screaming, "Oh my God, It's him! It's him!"

"Who the fuck are they getting hard over?"

Belphegor- "I don't know. What are you getting, A McDouble or A Double Cheese Burger?"

"What the fuck's the difference?"

Belphegor- "One has two cheeses, The other only has one."

"That's fucking dumb. Are they going broke or something?"

Belphegor- "Who knows."

Suddenly, A girl runs up to the cashier saying, "Hey, Justin wants a McDouble."

Belphegor- "Justin? Justin who?"

Girl- "Justin who?! Justin Chatwin, duh!"

Suddenly, The Moody Girl who had been angry ever since she left the theater looked at the raging fangirl.

"Don't you fucking talk to Belphy, Bitch!"

Suddenly, The Angry Girl takes out a knife and stabs the Fangirl in the eye. Belphegor merely smirked as he watched his partner stab the girl repeatedly.

Belphegor- "Now, Are you starting to feel better, Baka?"

Baka- "Not yet. I still got to fuck up Justin Chatwin."

Belphegor- "Well, I'll just stay here and watch while you have fun."

Baka- "Whatever."

Baka then goes to Justin's table, already cleared off of any fangirls who were wanting to see Justin for fear of getting stabbed. Justin, However, was stil there. He seemed like he was waiting for Baka to say something.

Justin- "Who are you? Why d-?"

Baka suddenly stabs her knife into Justin's gut.

Justin- "GAH! ...I ...I wasn't...ready."

Baka- "Fuck you, Dickhead."

She then pulls the kniife out and grabs Justin, dragging him out of the restaraunt.

Justin- "Where...Where are you...?"

Baka shouts, "Shut the fuck up!" then kicks him in the gut. She then continues to drag him until she reaches a pick-up truck. She then takes out some rope from the truck and drags Justin to the back of the truck.

Justin- "What are you doing?"

Baka then shouts, "Motherfucker, Just shut up!" she then stomps down hard on Justin's groin. Justin then proceeded to let out a high pitched scream. Baka then tied Justin's feet with the rope and tied the remainder of it to the truck. Belphegor walks up to Baka and asks, "You want me drive?"

Baka- "No, But you can ride."

Belphegor- "Sounds fun."

The two got into the truck and Baka hotwired it, Shifting it into gear as Belphegor looked back and waved at Justin with a sick grin on his face. Justin looked at the truck with fear in his eyes and screamed, "No! NO! Don't do it!"

Belphelgor- "Just do it?"

Justin- "NO!"

Belphegor- "Go?"

Justin- "NNOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Belphegor- "Well, You heard him, Baka."

Baka- "Fuck yeah!"

She then slams her foot on the pedal and the truck's wheels spin and the asphault, squealing and smoking as it slowly starts to move. Justin screamed as he was dragged acrossed the concrete, eventually bouncing across the road. Baka goes on for a minute until she finall hits the brakes, Skidding to a halt as Justin rolled a few more feet until he stopped. Baka got out to see what had been done to him and saw a torn up and bloody Justin laying on the road. Belphegor also saw what had become of one of Baka's most hated people in the world.

Baka- "Well, Say something now, Fucker. I dare you. Say something."

Justin was silent for a moment until he slowly started to talk.

Justin- "...please...just...kill...me..."

Baka- "Kill you? You want to die now, Is that it?"

Justin laid there, unable to even move his head to nod.

"You want it?", Baka said as she pulled out a gun. She then walked out a few yards in front of Justin and laid the gun on the ground.

Baka- "Then come and do it yourself."

Just then began to make sobbing noises. Baka then walked up to Justin and passed him. She then took her knife and cut the rope.

Baka- "See? I even cut you loose. You want to die, Then crawl your sorry, pathetic, shit-eatting, faggot-ass, childhood raping corpse over there and do it yourself."

Justin only moved a little bit, barely moving his arms more than a few inches at a timebefore moving himself towards the gun.

Baka- "That's fucking pathetic."

Belphegor- "He really does want to die that badly."

Baka- "Fuck this shit."

Baka goes to the truck again and pulls out a container of gasoline, walking to Justin and poaring the gas on him. Justin screamed as the gas soaked his body.

Belphegor- "Better start crawling faster, Chatwin"

Baka- "Belphy, I love you and all. But don't ever say "win" when saying his name."

Belphegor- "Oops, Then how about Chatfail?"

Baka- "That works. Though, I think Shatskin sounds better."

Belphegor chuckled as Baka took out a cigarette and lit it. She took one drag of it and had a disgusted look on her face.

Baka- "Ugh, This shit's nasty."

She drops the lit cigarette on Justin and within seconds, a flame covers his whole body.

Belphegor- "Yeah, Not only that, I hear smoking makes you fat."

Baka- "eew, Fuck that shit."

Justin screamed as he rolled around, trying to put himself out. but to no avail as he eventually stops rolling and screaming all togather and just lays there. Belphegor then pulls out a bag of marchmellows.

Belphegor- "Fancy a Marshmellow?"

Baka- "Sure."

Baka picks up two sticks and hands one to Belphegor, The two pokes their sticks through their marshmellows and roasts them over Justin's burning corpse.

Belphegor- "So, What's next?"

Baka- "Well, I just killed Justin Shatskin. Why not kill the whole Dragonball Devolution cast?"

Belphegor- "Sounds fun."

The two enjoy their roasted marshmellows and get back into the truck to go hunt down the other DBE cast.

Belphegor- "So, Who's next?"

Baka- "Good question. I guess I'll take out that Emmy bitch next. She just pisses me off so much for some reason."

Belphegor- "Well, Then let's go make her pay for pissing you off, And put another smile on your pretty face."

Baka- "Yeah, Let's go do that."

The two drive off into the sunset to kill all of the DBE cast. And maybe make some friends on the way, If they feel like it.

-TBC


well now im beat

im going to go to bed now

but not before listening to alterbridge some more

*Reads through the entire story*

.................

*Slowly walks up to Baka and hugs her tightly*

This made my day. Seriously, it made my day. I can't thank you enough! The funniest part was the dialogue before you drove Shatskin around with the truck. You also gave us a brand new name to use for Chatlose! I loved the detail you put into the pain he endured and his death only made it a sweeter and more satisfying conclusion!

10/10

I want marshamellows now...

bloody brillant. You win! You get the factory!

Amazing!

But baka, don't forget what happened to the kid who suddenly got everything they ever wanted.
random child: What happened?
Me: They lived happily ever after

...Is your name Revy from Black Lagoon? Because you have her charming personality XD.
I'm so happy...can i be in this fanfic too...PLEASE?

*Reads again*

So incredible!!

This totally made my day
I mean yes, I am against insulting and bashing actors, because no matter how much I hate them they still are not responsible for this movie existing.

But I'd take this as I like to call it "killing our pain from the artistic point of view " CUASE IT JUST SO MUCH MAKES ME FEEL BETTER WHEN I READ IT! and it makes me feel like I let this whole tension out a little bit...

And if someone from Fox starts complaining about this all and calling it as an insulting content, I will just kill them with their own philosophy by saying - "well why do you take it as an insult?!??! why don't you take it as some completely other text!?!? you don't need to take it as insult!!!"(as the response to their illogical and senseless "you don't have to see it as a DB movie, you can imagine its some other movie..." - WELL DAAA! IF YOU'D CHANGE THE TITLE AND CHARACTER NAMES WE MAYBE WOULD!!! actually we CERTAINLY would cause thats the only thing thats the same...)

THE END of the story!...

If they'd complain about THIS then that would be the same as complaining about someone punching you back cause you punched him first...
Fox rapes our childhood REALLY, not just talking and joking about it but REALLY DO IT actually, and we here just talk about it and are killing our pain with it, and that pain THEY MADE!...
So there is no excuse for them and will never be...

VEGETA_DTX wrote:This totally made my day
I mean yes, I am against insulting and bashing actors, because no matter how much I hate them they still are not responsible for this movie existing.

But I'd take this as I like to call it "killing our pain from the artistic point of view " CUASE IT JUST SO MUCH MAKES ME FEEL BETTER WHEN I READ IT! and it makes me feel like I let this whole tension out a little bit...

And if someone from Fox starts complaining about this all and calling it as an insulting content, I will just kill them with their own philosophy by saying - "well why do you take it as an insult?!??! why don't you take it as some completely other text!?!? you don't need to take it as insult!!!"(as the response to their illogical and senseless "you don't have to see it as a DB movie, you can imagine its some other movie..." - WELL DAAA! IF YOU'D CHANGE THE TITLE AND CHARACTER NAMES WE MAYBE WOULD!!! actually we CERTAINLY would cause thats the only thing thats the same...)

THE END of the story!...

If they'd complain about THIS then that would be the same as complaining about someone punching you back cause you punched him first...
Fox rapes our childhood REALLY, not just talking and joking about it but REALLY DO IT actually, and we here just talk about it and are killing our pain with it, and that pain THEY MADE!...
So there is no excuse for them and will never be...

Thats has one major flaw...they have lawyers

well I AM a laywer. I can get ya all out of this.
Frank: you are not a laywer.
jess: well I know one.
*everyone hears a familiar yell of "OBJECTION!"*
ah he's coming =D

VEGETA_DTX wrote:This totally made my day
I mean yes, I am against insulting and bashing actors, because no matter how much I hate them they still are not responsible for this movie existing.

But I'd take this as I like to call it "killing our pain from the artistic point of view " CUASE IT JUST SO MUCH MAKES ME FEEL BETTER WHEN I READ IT! and it makes me feel like I let this whole tension out a little bit...

And if someone from Fox starts complaining about this all and calling it as an insulting content, I will just kill them with their own philosophy by saying - "well why do you take it as an insult?!??! why don't you take it as some completely other text!?!? you don't need to take it as insult!!!"(as the response to their illogical and senseless "you don't have to see it as a DB movie, you can imagine its some other movie..." - WELL DAAA! IF YOU'D CHANGE THE TITLE AND CHARACTER NAMES WE MAYBE WOULD!!! actually we CERTAINLY would cause thats the only thing thats the same...)

THE END of the story!...

If they'd complain about THIS then that would be the same as complaining about someone punching you back cause you punched him first...
Fox rapes our childhood REALLY, not just talking and joking about it but REALLY DO IT actually, and we here just talk about it and are killing our pain with it, and that pain THEY MADE!...
So there is no excuse for them and will never be...

Yes, take it as an alternative story.

lol

i thought people would like to take a trip through my wildest fantasies XD

sure ill add in some people for shits and giggles

Oh boys I hope I get to be there, talking to my imaginary friend/the demon that haunts me, Frank the rabbit!

Frank the bunny tastes funny. Like pot, rabbit pot.

Tlaloc wrote:Frank the bunny tastes funny. Like pot, rabbit pot.

WHAAAAAAAAT? YOU TASTED FRANK? WAIT I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM IN TWO HOURS! OMG YOU ATE HIM!!!

I didn't eat him, just licked him.

oh ok I got scared for a second! If I didn't have frank, who would tell me to burn down houses?!?

The Leprechun?

no we aren't speaking anymore...

lol...whenever I wear green to school, everyone calles me leprecan becuase I'm short >_<

I hear voices in my head, they come to me, they comfort me.

Lol I acted like I was having a bit of a mental breakdown a while ago when I was talking to a friend, I sat hugging my knees and rocking back and forth and saying stuff like "the voices tell me to do bad things....I don't want to do bad things!" and my friends like "then don't listen to them, Jess!" and I said "but if I don't obey, they stop...and then I am all alone...the voices keep me company when the men in the white coats lock me in the padded room with the hug-yourself jacket...."

Randy Orton has nothing on me.

Tlaloc wrote:Randy Orton has nothing on me.

just his theme song which can easily be stolen

but yeah his theme and edges theme are my favs im listening to edges right now actually

Yeah, I love them themes of Edge, HHH, Batista and Randy Orton.

"On This Day...I see clearly! Everything has come to life! A bitter place, And a Broken Deam, I will leave it all behind! On This Day...It's so real to me! Everything has come to life! Another chance, To chase a dream! Another chance to feel, Chance to feel alive~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!"